No, She's Not Coming

Today we begin a new phase in our journey. For a number of reasons, I made the decision to no longer babysit the little girl that I have kept for seven months. She is such a sweet little girl and she and BK have become best friends, so this will be a difficult transition for all of us. Although I believe it was the right decision for my family at this time, I am saddened as I hear BK ask over and over if her friend is coming today. It seems that toddlers lack the ability to understand or accept news that they do not want to believe. Please pray for my baby's tender heart as she misses her friend...and for me as I attempt to fill the void of a two-year-old playmate.

Priorities

I am a member of an online mother’s group. The forum offers a sense of community and an opportunity to share ideas about a broad variety of subjects. Recently, someone asked advice about whether they should go back to work, leaving their small child in daycare. Of course, I had to offer my opinion, and I thought I might as well post my response here as well….

“I am very biased on this subject, so expect me to be supportive of you staying home with your daughter. I will also preface this by saying that while I encourage women to stay home with their children if there is any possible way, I do not judge those who do not. These are just my personal beliefs...and some of the many things I had to consider when making the decision to quit my job last year to be a stay-at-home mom.

First, I realize that the extra money that you would make while working would be nice. However, unless you and your husband are very, very disciplined, what usually happens is the more we make, the more we spend. When a family goes from one to two incomes, it is almost impossible to resist the urge to raise the standard of living. So instead of using the new source of income to pay previous bills, it is often used to upgrade in some way...a new vehicle, a bigger house in a better neighborhood, longer vacations, more stuff and things...the list goes on and on.

There are also "hidden costs" involved when both parents work...such as eating out/going through the drive-thru more often because you are too tired to cook...and more doctor's bills because kids are probably going to get sick more often when exposed to a large number of children...just to name a few. Another cost is not exactly financial, but emotionally and psychologically...being away from your child...wondering if you are doing the right thing...feeling guilty when you hand your child over to someone else day after day...not to mention the stress of trying to do it all...trying to give 100% at work and 100% at home can leave us stretched to the max. We are not "super-women" who have 200% to give, so one side or the other will end up being slighted...that's just the way it is.

While I know the importance of becoming debt-free, I'm just saying that there may be other ways of meeting that goal which do not involve leaving your child in the care of others. Just a few options may be: working from home, babysitting another child to be a playmate for your daughter, working an evening shift so that your husband could be there for your daughter, and my favorite...using your creative energy to research and implement ways to spend less of the money that your husband works so hard to provide for his family. There is a great book I recommend written by Carey Keavy, Raising Your Own Children. It contains many great ideas on staying home and making it work for your family.

I am a big believer in 'living below your means' in order to follow the convictions of your heart. That doesn't mean giving up all the things in life that make us happy....but rather developing an attitude of seeing just how little you can spend and still have the things you need. It is about setting priorities and making the hard choices that have to be made to make those priorities a reality."

Check It Out

My hubby Mike has entered the world of blogging and he has a lot to say. Check it out: http://lifeinrealworld.blogspot.com/

Hug Your Baby Today

When my son Jeremy (who will be 29 next month) was about 3 or 4 years old, we lived in an upstairs apartment. He was good about holding on to the rail going up and down by himself. One day we were heading out to go somewhere and he went on down ahead of me. I was still inside when I heard him fall....down a couple of the wooden stairs...then he fell off the stairs and plummeted to a concrete sidewalk below...just inches away from a chain link fence. We scooped him up and headed for the ER. Fortunately, he was not injured seriously, just a few bruises on his back from the stairs (I still believe that an angel caught him and put him down gently on the sidewalk).

Kids are resilient and he bounced back quickly. However, I was not so fortunate. It was such a traumatic event for me...I would close my eyes at night and hear him yell as he fell. I had terrible nightmares…in fact, over twenty years later, I still wake up in a cold sweat occasionally thinking about what could have happened.

In an instant your whole world can change.

We should not take even one day for granted.

He Will Make A Difference

My great-nephew Josh is taking off a semester of college at USM to go halfway across the world to follow his convictions. He will be leaving in August with the Word Made Flesh organization to spend four months in Calcutta, India (or Kolkata as it is now spelled), working in a hospice, ministering to the poor, hurting and dying. From his own words: "As patients come in, we will basically care for and love them as best we can. We have such jobs as bathing, feeding, massaging, and making them smile, just so when their time comes to leave this earth, they will do so feeling loved and taken care of; something we all deserve." The team will also work with those involved in human trafficking.

In the last few weeks, I have been privileged to catch a glimpse of the depth of this young man's love of God and for those that others consider "untouchable." I am so proud of him for following his heart and taking this leap of faith.

This trip will cost over $5000 and he has to raise the money himself. I am asking for prayer for Josh and the team with whom he will be traveling...for their safety and the many lives they will touch...and also for his mom, sister and grandmother (my sister) to give them peace while Josh is gone. If you are interested in blessing Josh financially and being a part of this life-changing adventure, email me and I'll give you the mailing info.

Thanks in advance for your prayers and support.

Blueberries-R-US

A friend's father has a blueberry patch and they have generously supplied us with some wonderfully plump, sweet and pesticide-free blueberries...gallons and gallons of blueberries. As I sat and sorted them at my kitchen table today, with the air conditioner blowing and the ceiling fan whirling, quite comfy even though it was almost 100 degrees outside, my heart was thankful for the blessing of the blueberries. I so admire those who work the land to grow good things...and for those who share the fruit of their labor with others. One day I want to be one of those growers and sharers.

In the meantime, I'll share my recipe for blueberry syrup. It is so yummy and I made almost a gallon and a half this week to put in the freezer.

BLUEBERRY SYRUP

1 c. sugar
2 tbsp. cornstarch
1 c. water
2 c. blueberries (put in food processor to crush)
1 tsp. lemon juice

Mix sugar and cornstarch in 2 quart saucepan. Gradually add water. Stir in blueberries and lemon juice. Heat to boiling over high heat. Stir constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Makes 3 cups. Serve warm and then refrigerate.

Enjoy!

Our Outing Today

Northpark Movie Theatre is offering free morning movies for kids this summer. Today we took BK and the little girl I babysit, along with three of my grandsons, to see Doogal. It was rated G and a really cute movie. This was BK's first experience with the big screen and she enjoyed it...well, until she tried to climb in a seat and it closed on her, trapping her leg. She screamed at the top of her lungs, "MOMMY I'M ABOUT TO FALLLLLL!" She wasn't hurt, just scared...and it scared me too.

There were several daycare centers there with lots of little guys filling whole rows. Mike and I sat there with the five children we brought and we kind of felt like a daycare too. : ) We all had a lot of fun...it was a good day. I am so thankful for the laughter of the children in my life...thankful for fun places to take them that won't put a dent in my wallet...and thankful for a husband who likes to hang out with us.

Be Prepared

I enter a lot of book give-away contests and I've been fortunate enough to win several this year. The latest one is called Desperate Ransom by Minton Sparks. It is such a cool little book...written about her rural Southern family...in sort of poems, but not typical poetry by any means. Each little story is only one or two pages, so it's a quick read.

The author tells a story about her Mee Maw, who thought that "Thou Shalt Be Prepared" should be the 11th commandment and always warned of the danger of not having clean, presentable underwear in case calamity struck. One day a storm blew through and when it was all over, a neighbor woman was stuck in a tree. As they all stood around the tree looking up, "...the worst of what we saw wasn't the bloody cuts or bruising poor Sadie bore. No, what shocked us most was the tattered and holey underwear she wore." Her Mee Maw flew into a cleaning frenzy, then she dashed to town and came home with a pair of cobalt blue, silk panties. "And to this very day, anytime the sky looks threatening or the winds get high, Mee Maw steals off to her bedroom dresser and steps into what are now affectionately referred to by all of us as 'Mee Maw's Tornado Drawers'."

OMG...I laughed so hard when I read that! It sounds like something my mother would have done! She always warned us girls of the dangers of not wearing presentable underwear. Now that I think about it, maybe all mothers give their daughters the same speech. Is that a chapter in the mother's instruction handbook? Since I have a daughter of my own now, I guess I should start fine tuning my own speech, huh? Okay BK, we need to talk...

Terrible/Terrific Twos

BK turned two in January. Things rocked along just fine until about a month ago...then she began to change. It was like she grew up right before my eyes. She has always been a "little big girl"...acting grown way before she should have. But this newest transformation is different, it's like she has gone to a new level.

On the positive side:
She is even more of a delight...she makes jokes and laughs at ours...she helps with simple chores...she is learning to "go potty"...she is more outgoing with other people...she makes up and sings her own songs...and her level of learning (already pretty high) has been kicked up a notch.

On the negative side:
Oh my gosh...can we say DRAMA PRINCESS! Anything that doesn't go her way sets into motion a series of events that I cringe just thinking about. There are shrieks of protest, throwing anything that is in her hands at the time, and then falling to the floor dramatically, accompanied by more loud crying. It doesn't matter where we are or who we are with, it is going to happen eventually.

Welcome to the world of two-year-olds. They are on top of the world one minute and screaming about something...anything...everything...the next.

We talk. We try to find out what is wrong. We tell her that is not acceptable behavior. We put her in time out. We swat her backside (yes we do). It takes time, commitment, and most of all energy to train children, but train them we must. What might be semi-cute at two (believe it or not, sometimes I'm tempted to laugh at her when she flings herself to the floor), is definitely not cute at five.

Do I wish that she had not gone to this new level? Not for a minute. The positive far outweighs the negative. Terrible or terrific? Depends on which minute of a particular day you ask the question. But I'll take the good with the bad and I'm determined to enjoy each day, because tomorrow is a new day, with a new level, and it will have enough challenges of it's own.

Fighting BMS

In an effort to combat cerebral atrophy, otherwise known as BMS (Brain-Mush Syndrome), last night I challenged myself to make a list of all 50 states. I only came up with 45...but I actually felt pretty good about that. It's not as easy as it sounds...grab a pen and paper, or pull up an Excel worksheet, and give it a shot. Let me know how you did. Do your part to stop BMS!

New Family Member

My great-niece gave birth to a baby girl this afternoon. Mother and daughter are doing well. New life is such a gift. My family is rejoicing tonight!

Energizer Bunny Needed

Ever feel like your batteries need to be recharged? I’m there now. I am tired…not just physically, but with the tiredness that comes from the monotony of everyday living.

It is my own fault. I knew when I quit my job last year to stay home with BK, it was imperative that I stay involved with people and activities that would keep my mind active and my resolve to be a stay-at-home mom strengthened. I have done neither of these things on a consistent basis. There are days when I feel like my brain is turning to mush…days when I think I’ll scream if I have to hear Barney sing how much he loves me one more time. There are also days when I feel very unappreciated (actually, those are most days). I realize that the sacrifices I am making now are an investment in my daughter's future...but in this world of instant gratification, sometimes it's tough to stay focused when I do not reap the benefits immediately.

I have come to believe that being a full-time mother and wife is one of the most challenging lifestyles a woman can chose. Not only is it hard work, but for me it is a constant battle to overcome feelings of inadequacy and to face the disapproval and disrespect from those who do not understand the importance of a my commitment to my family…even in the Christian community.

What a shame that our society has tricked us into believing that in order to be fulfilled in life, women need careers. I run into women all the time who tell me there is no way they could stay home…work gives them purpose in life. Right after I left my job, I really struggled with my identity. My job and my identity were so firmly entwined that it was hard to separate the two…to be honest, I am not sure that I have completely mastered it yet.

I shared some of these thoughts with a friend who is a homeschooling mother of seven. She sent me a wonderful list of things that she has done over the years to keep herself in the right place mentally as she lives out her convictions to be the best mother and wife she can be. What an inspiration she is to me! I am so thankful for her friendship.

I know that my thoughts and beliefs lead directly to my feelings…and ultimately to my actions. I have a choice of what to think and believe. The responsibility of staying content in this season of my life rests firmly on my shoulders. So here is my plan of revitalization:

*Take a break from the ordinary. I will plan a mini-vacation with hubby and the princess…maybe for the weekend…just to get away for a few days and enjoy ourselves.
*Be purposeful about cultivating friendships with like-minded women. I am not sure exactly how to go about doing this, but I know it is very important. Church is a good place to start. There are also online groups for stay-at-home moms.
*Be careful about what I read, watch and hear. It makes no sense to work hard to renew my mind, only to let some television show or magazine sabotage the progress I’m making.
*Work on a task that I love to do. My new blog is an excellent way to utilize my love of writing.
*Challenge myself to do a task that I don’t love to do. Oh my gosh, I guess this means that I have to tackle that junk room that has been calling my name for the longest time.
*Laugh, laugh and then laugh some more. Nuff said.

Hmm…sounds like a good plan. I will keep you updated.

Open Our Eyes

Today I was reading over a devotional piece that I wrote several years ago and I realized how much I needed to read these words. Perhaps you do too...

I do not think that asking God “why?” is wrong, as long as this questioning of His actions does not turn into questioning His character. The danger comes when we start blaming God for not stopping all the bad things from happening. I think that the main reason we would be tempted to do that would be if we really do not know the heart of God, for if we did, then we would understand that He is kind, merciful and loving, and when His children hurt, He hurts as well.

The perception that many of us have about God is faulty, and that can lead to a suspicion of His motives. The first thing that we have to remember is that God is Holy and He is…well…GOD. This gives Him the right to do whatever, whenever, and however He sees fit. Sometimes we think that we are so smart, and if we were God, we would sure do things different. However, I have a feeling that if we held the reins to the universe, even for a very short period of time, we all would be in a whole heap of trouble. Only God knows the beginning from the end. He is Alpha and Omega. He was here before it all started and He will be here when it all ends.

We do not have to understand it all to live our lives in faith. We don’t even have to like it. But what we do have to do in order to go on with Him is to learn to trust Him to know what is best for us.

If you are going through a hard time yourself, just love Him right where you are, and know that He will see you through…making a way where there seems to be no way. He loves us with an everlasting love and, as Beth Moore says, “God will never let you go through a fire that He cannot bring beauty from the ashes.” (Read Isaiah 61:1-3)

My prayer for us all is that we will be made aware of the schemes of the enemy, both subtle and outright, and we will stand firm in the Truth of God’s Word. May we learn to relax in our Father’s love even when we do not understand, and come to Him with the simple trust of a child who believes that his Daddy can do anything. Open our eyes, Lord, to the wonder of You.

The Art Project

When is the last time you colored? No, I don't mean your hair...I mean sitting down with a crayon and creating a masterpiece.

Okay, so here is my deep dark secret...at least one of them...I like to color! I cannot think of a time that I did not have at least one box of crayons in my house...even when there were no kids around to use them (it's getting harder and harder to remember a time that there were no kids around). There is just something about a fresh box of Crayolas...but not just any box...the big box with the sharpener in the back (that I never use, but I like knowing it's there) and the wonderful array of hues that beckon me.

I took the girls to story time at the library today. After a few songs and two books, it was time to work on coloring pages...an ice cream cone and a bee, to be exact. I watched both of them on the floor with their crayons racing...tongues sticking out in concentration. Purple cones and green ice cream emerged from the little hands. Two-year-old art is the medium for which refrigerator magnets are made. When BK was finished, I asked her to bring me her sheets so I could write her name on them. Hmm...the cone could use a little something. Picking up the brown, I outlined the diamond shapes, then filled them in...smiling as I concentrated hard to NOT stick my tongue out. About that time, BK turned around to see what I was doing. With an indignant "MOMMY!", she grabbed the page protectively...how dare I mess up her picture?

Alas, there is a time and a place for everything. The girls are now down for their naps. I tip-toed down the hall to check on them. Yes, they are fast asleep. Now....where are those crayons......

The Journey Begins.....

Okay.....so I have wanted to create a blog for a long time....and now I'm finally here! I have no delusions of grandeur that the masses are waiting with bated breath to read my literary prose. More likely, this will be a therapeutic outlet for my rants, passions and random thoughts....with a generous sprinkling of the mundane. Nevertheless, I am excited to be here at this place and time....let the games begin.....