Faux Friends

Online relationships are tricky. Whether it is someone from my past that I haven't had any contact with in years, or a family member that I don't see very often, or even people that I have never met in real-life, the way that people deal with each other online is often very different than in real life.

Since opening a Facebook account not so long ago, it has changed the way I see people and things.

For one thing, when we read things that others post to these websites, we start feeling like we know them better than we actually do. It is very easy (at least for me) to lower my barriers and to feel emotionally connected. This tends to give a false sense of security and makes it easy to believe that we are closer than we really are, therefore enabling us to think it's okay to share our hearts...when in fact it is not.

I am not talking about opposite-sex friendships leading to something inappropriate (although that danger does exist), but rather just a false sense of intimacy that develops...a faux friendship, if you will.

One such instance happened a while back, when I read a note that a relative had written on Facebook. This is a person that I love and respect and have enjoyed reading his writings very much. But I found the direction that his posts were going a bit disturbing. I sent him a message telling him that I was concerned for him and that I had decided not to read his posts for a while because I didn't seem to be able to keep from leaving negative/snide comments, so it was better if I just didn't read his posts.

Talk about opening a can of worms.

Not only did he amend the original post to blast me, but he sent me an angry message, bringing up all kind of things from the past that had nothing to do with this. I could only deduce that his intent was to hurt me, as he said that I had hurt him...and he was successful.

Should I have just kept my thoughts to myself? Probably so. But this goes back to the original subject of this post, which is that false sense of intimacy. I felt that I was close enough to him that I could speak my heart in love and that even if he didn't accept it, at least he would hear and understand my concern.

Boy, I could not have been more wrong.

What I heard him saying is that because he has made some gay/lesbian friends, now he is leaning toward the belief that their love must be pure and therefore accepted by God.

What he heard me saying is that I am threatened by all things homosexual and that I believe Christians should beat them over the head with their Bibles until they see what dirty sinners they are. (NOT)

Angry impasse.

*sigh*

Another situation just happened this week. I have been a moderator on a mom's forum for a few years. We post about many things on this forum, sharing details of our lives, offering advice and prayers, laughing and crying together. I've met many of the women through Mom's Night Out and different activities.

What I realized is that many of their children have had birthday parties in the last couple of months, but that BK had not been invited to any of them, even though they posted photos and it was clear that many of the other kids were there. So I decided to post and just ask about it...telling them that I was not upset, just curious.

A few people answered, but the one that stood out to me made it clear that we were just "online friends" and she felt that should explain it.

Wow. Seriously?

Okay, so now I am having to rethink all of my online relationships...and maybe some of my real-life ones too. Are they genuine or faux?

I'm not sure that I am going to like the answers. Suddenly I feel very lonely.

30-Day Giving Challenge

I just "happened" upon a blog during the wee hours this morning. It is Keeping the Kingdom First, Balancing Faith, Family and Frugality. If you have never seen this blog, head over and check it out.

Alyssa was challenged by a message from her pastor to spend 30 days with a journal in hand and to document everything you give, along with the blessings that come your way. He went on to say that generosity is a Kingdom Dynamic. Read the original post here.

From this message, The 30-Day Giving Challenge was born. Even though I have missed the first week or so of the challenge, I'm jumping on board. What better way to spend Thanksgiving month than to give from the abundance that God has given us.

Let me know if you will consider joining this challenge. Be sure to take time to keep notes of your journey.

Raining Leaves

Today was a beautiful fall day here in Mississippi. We typically don't have much of a fall...racing from summer's heat and plowing into winter's cold. So when the weather is this nice, we have to get outside to enjoy.

There are a lot of trees in our neighborhood. We have a few in our back yard and all of our neighbors have them in abundance. As I sat on our back porch and watched BK play, I could hear the wind coming through the neighbor's yard to the west of our house. Slowly the leaves began to rustle and then the tempo increased, moving closer and closer to our yard.

When the wind finally made it to our trees, the leaves started to flutter and rain down in our yard. BK was delighted. She squealed and she ran back and forth trying to catch them. Then as suddenly as it came, the wind moved on to the next neighbor's yard, sending their leaves flying as well.

I was glad that I had my camera in hand to capture the moment.

One more example of simple joy...experienced through the eyes of a child. What could be better?

Christian Homemaking Website

Blair Massey has unveiled her newly updated Christian Homemaking website today. There are contests and give-aways every day through the 13th. Click here to head over to join the fun and register for a prize, which will be given away daily.

Deals of the Day

I just love it when I can find a bargain. Here are mine for today:

Roaman's Bra Sale

Comfort Choice buy one, get one 50% off

I chose a bra for $22.99 and put two in my cart. The first listed as $22.99 and the second as $11.49. Then I searched on Google for a Roaman's coupon and found one on RetailMeNot for 30% off my highest price item. When I applied this code, it brought the first one down to $16.09. Total for my order (including shipping) $34.57.

Walgreens

1. Puffs tissues - 216 ct. box - regular 2.19 - with sale paper coupon 2/$3 (I had two .25 manf. coupons that I used) Total price for two boxes: $2.50

2. Bottled water - 24 16oz. - regular 4.99 - with sale paper coupon $2.99

3. Dawn detergent - 10.3oz. ultra concentrated - regular 1.59 - with sale paper coupon .99 (I had two .25 manf. coupons that I used) Total price for two bottles: $1.48

4. Wal-Zyr (generic Zyrtec) - 60 ct. box - regular $23.99 - buy one, get one free!

For more Frugal Friday ideas, head over to Life as Mom.

Cook Ahead - Roast

When Kroger puts English Roast on sale, I buy a family pack of two roasts, which is usually .10 or .20 cents a pound cheaper than buying the single roasts.

I go ahead and cook both roasts (using an envelope of onion soup mix and a can of mushroom soup...baking at 275 for about 3 1/2 - 4 hours). We eat what we want for dinner, then I cut the leftover meat into bite-sized pieces, separating into several meal-sized portions and put in zip-lock freezer bags. I pour any gravy over the top of the meat and freeze. This usually makes at least three bags for three more meals.

When I'm ready to use one of the bags, I just put it in the crockpot frozen, add some baby carrots and peeled, chunked potatoes, and another can of cream of mushroom soup. I usually sprinkle some brown gravy mix over the top, then let it cook on low for about 6 hours - or until the veggies are done. Serve over rice.

For more make ahead meal ideas, head over to the recipe swap at the Life as Mom blog.

Spirit of Adoption

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" Romans 8:15

Those of you who know me in real life, know that adoption holds a special place in my heart. My sweet girl was given to us through adoption and I can't think of a more selfless gift.

We made the decision when she was very young that we would tell her early that she is adopted. I want her to grow up knowing that she was chosen and that she is loved very much.

Sometimes she and I talk about adoption. Today it was about a baby kitten being adopted. We talked about the baby kitty needing a family...and a family needing a baby kitty...so they took the kitten home with them to love and be a part of their family. Then I reminded her that she is adopted and that her daddy and I brought her home with us to love her and to be a part of our family...forever.

She looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said "Mommy, do you love me in your heart?"

I had to swallow hard before answering to keep the tears at bay because she wouldn't understand them.

"Yes sweet girl, Mommy's heart is full of love for you."

I am thankful for the gift of adoption. For the opportunity to mother this precious angel. And for my own adoption that makes me the daughter of the King.

The Spirit of Adoption is sweet and precious...and forever.

Chili and Cornbread

I woke up from a late nap today and realized I had nothing planned for dinner. After a quick perusal of the pantry and freezer, I came to the computer and Googled "ground beef" and "Jiffy cornbread" and instantly found several recipes. I grabbed this one for Chili & Cornbread.

I tweaked the recipe a little and it turned out so delicious... definitely a keeper. It could be made spicy, but I like it mild so my four-year-old can enjoy it too.

CHILI & CORN BREAD

1 lb. ground beef

1 onions, chopped (I used about a cup of frozen onion/green peppers)

2 cloves garlic, crushed (I used 1 tsp. garlic powder)

2 tbsp. chili powder

1 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

1/4 tsp. oregano

1 tsp. cumin

1 tsp. vinegar

1 (1 lb.) can diced tomatoes, undrained

1 (1 lb.) can kidney beans, undrained

1 pkg. Jiffy cornbread mix (small)

Brown ground beef with onions and garlic; drain. Add chili powder, salt, pepper, oregano, vinegar, stewed tomatoes and kidney beans. Simmer, stirring occasionally until liquid is reduced and thickened.

Put in an 8x8 dish. Mix cornbread according to package and cover chili mixture with it. Cook according to package directions or until cornbread is golden brown and done in the center. Serves up to 4.

The recipe can easily be doubled. I will make this again and I think I will at least triple the meat mixture and freeze in meal size pans. Then when I'm ready to cook, I will defrost and mix the cornbread for the topping for a super quick meal.

Chilly Weather = Soup

It is much cooler than usual in the deep south this morning. Temps are about 20 degrees below normal. Of course, I am enjoying it because I'm a cool-weather kind of girl.

Last night I started thinking about soup, so I looked through my recipes to see what looked good. I found this recipe and I'm planning to cook it tonight. I don't think I have tried it before, but it looks really good.

Please feel free to share your favorite soup recipe in a comment.

CREAMY CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP

4 cans (10 oz ea) Rotel (or 2 cans diced tomatoes & 2 cans Rotel)

4 cans (14.5 oz ea.) chicken broth

1 can (30 oz) refried beans

1 cup frozen corn

4 cups shredded cooked chicken

Tortilla chips

Shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Put tomatoes and broth in large pan. Stir in beans and corn. Bring to a boil; Simmer on low 5 minutes stirring frequently. Add chicken; heat through. Top with tortilla strips or chips and cheese.

Facebook

I resisted getting a Facebook account. I really did. My thought was that I didn't really need another website to have to "babysit" everyday. But when I finally caved in and opened an account...well...now I'm addicted and I love it.

I like connecting with old friends and family members. I like being able to share photos and anecdotes of my life, as well as reading those of my Facebook "friends" (that term is used loosely, because I've never met some of the people on my Facebook list).

How people interact with each other has always been interesting to me. Being involved on this social networking website has been an eye-opener. I can't help but wonder how many relationships have been effected by Facebook...for better or worse.

If they post often, then I am able to get to know the people on my friends list...what is important to them...and what ticks them off. This can be a good thing...or a not-so-good thing. Sometimes people look so much better from afar, you know? Of course, I suppose it's entirely possible that it goes both ways, as others get to know me better as well.

In this age of technology, which makes it easier than ever to stay in touch, it seems that people are becoming more disconnected from each other. Facebook helps me feel connected to my people. And that is a good thing.

Benji

Bonnie Kate watched her first Benji movie last night. Apparently the little guy has not lost his appeal all these years later, because she loved the movie.

Of course, part of that is that she just loves dogs...and all things dogs.

I decided to go on eBay to see if I might be able to find her some Benji movies for Christmas. There is a set of four DVDs that I'm bidding on. The bid is under $4.00 right now and the auction ends tonight.

Wish me luck.

By the way...who could say "no" to these eyes?

Rotisserie Chicken Meal X Two

I love rotisserie chicken. It makes a quick, easy and yummy meal. And when you can pick one up at Kroger for $4.99, that makes it pretty inexpensive as well (I've priced whole chickens and by the time you add all the spices and cook for several hours, I don't think you would come out much cheaper by doing it yourself).

But what makes this purchase even more frugal is the leftovers. Let me tell you what I did this week.

1. After we had a meal from the chicken one night, I picked off all the meat and stuck it in the fridge.

2. I dumped the rest of the chicken in a pot, covered it with water, and cooked on low heat for about an hour and a half.

3. Using tongs, I took out the bones and strained the liquid (this makes great homemade broth for soup or to cook with). At this point, I froze one container of broth and refrigerated a little over two cups.

4. Before discarding the bones, I examined them to see if there was more meat that I could remove.

5. The next day, I cooked a cup of rice in 2 1/4 cups of broth, along with the chopped up leftover chicken, for 25 minutes (thankfully, I realized that I had not salted the broth, so I added some salt).

6. After I turned off the heat, I let the pot sit, still covered for about 5 minutes. Then I stirred in about 1/2 can cream of mushroom soup.

Voila...meal number two!

You can also add cheese on top and stick it in the oven until melted. This is a comfort-food dish for me and an old stand-by for anytime I have leftover chicken and want a quick meal.

So there you have it...the tale of the two meal chicken. If any of you have more ideas on using leftover chicken, I would love for you to leave a comment.

Under $1000 a Month

I have found a new blog that is very intriguing: Under $1000 a Month - How a Family of Four Happily Thrives on Less Than $1000 Per Month.

The writer’s name is Emily and she is a young wife and mother who lives in Maine. Her husband is a full-time student and works part-time at Wal-Mart. They have two small children and expecting another one in about a week. Their income is under $1000 a month and they live in a small apartment (under 500 sq. ft.). They have chosen this lifestyle for this season in their lives in order to save for future plans. From what I can tell, they do not accept government assistance, although they clearly qualify.

I admire her so much. While they are in a financial situation that many would find very difficult…if not impossible…Emily meets the challenge with gusto and seems to enjoy finding ways to cut costs, while giving her family what they need. She is positive, resourceful and determined. I love the fact that she thinks outside the box. Also, I think Emily is very gutsy for putting it all out there online, even though she has had some criticism.

I hope that her husband appreciates what a wonderful helpmate he has. She guards the money he makes and counts the cost on everything she does. Recently her husband wanted to send off for a free book and she questioned whether the book was worth the 44 cent stamp. He said it was, so she ordered it. But just the fact that she questioned spending 44 cents boggles my mind (in a good way) and encourages me to not pull out my wallet and spend quite as mindlessly. It ALL DOES add up.

Emily’s ability to stretch a dollar is amazing to me. Some of the things she does are so extreme that apparently it is causing quite a stir on frugal forums and she has gotten quite a few very nasty comments on her blog (calling her a bad mother, etc.). Personally, I believe that these negative, nasty people are just trying to justify to themselves why they live as they do.

Most Americans live in excess…especially compared to people in other countries. We think we deserve stuff and things. We do not stop buying even when the money runs out…often getting deeper and deeper in debt. But the bigger issue is not even whether or not we go into debt, but of being responsible for the money that God has entrusted to us.

I just discovered this blog a few days ago, but it is already having a deep effect on me in many ways. I am rethinking some items in my budget and I’m looking to see where I can cut back. I am more conscious of how and when I spend my money. I am making notes of her frugal tips and will try many of them. I am planning to cut down on spending this Christmas.

I may never be as frugal as Emily, but I figure everything I do has to help.

Lovin' Ms. Dale

BK absolutely LOVES her preschool teacher. When I dropped her off this morning, she saw Ms. Dale standing down the hall, so she jumped out of the car and ran to her.

As I was driving off, I could see BK giving her a big hug. That does this mama's heart good to know that my baby is being loved and cared for so well.

Yesterday was Ms. Dale's birthday, so BK took her a gift and I took decorated cookies so they could have a party. It was a good day.

Smart Girl

My sweet girl loves to draw. Give her a marker and paper and she is ready to get to work. She writes, draws, colors, makes up stories, draws some more...

At least until the little stuffed puppy shows up...

And jumps on her head...just because little stuffed puppies are like that.

Tonight, after she beat her Daddy at Bingo, she ran in to get her drawing board and wrote her first sentence (without our help).

In case you need help deciphering, it says "Bonnie Kate win at Bingo." I think that's pretty good for a four-year-old.